A Birthday Party
It’s August. It’s hot and it feels like the world is on fire. Oregon and Washington are burning up and we have been under a cloud of smoke. Homes are being lost. Emergency alarms occasionally startle a quiet moment with evacuation notifications close by.
I recall us all talking of how mild this past winter was as we now hunker indoors through the resulting ominous dusky skies and hazardous air quality.
The idea of a celebration is in stark contrast to current events. But still, good things are worth prioritizing. Perhaps more so when things seem a little grim. If we let these moments pass us by they are simply gone. Resilience comes when we maintain joy that could be smut out by our hesitation.
So, we stuck to our plan and made the journey to central Oregon to celebrate our mother who was turning 70. My husband hooked up our trailer and our little crew, springer spaniel included, tucked in and began the four hour drive.
All of us grown kids inched our way toward the gathering place from our own scattered places on the map. Each bringing our little contributions of family cultures, personalities and talents.
In my post travel fatigue I wandered the property. The garden looked lovely and lush. Freshly tended to in the anticipation of the company that weekend. My mother’s garden is always a place I feel particular awe for her domestic gifts. Home and garden things seem to flow from her. She is a capable woman to be sure. And yet it is more than mere capability which could be quite a cold thing on its own. It’s almost as though a magical element floats around what she creates. A whimsy that orchestrates the practical with the beautiful.
As I post these pictures, it is not lost upon me what immense blessings we have been given as a family. Sure I will gripe with the best of them at times about the things that trouble me, the missteps and areas of falling short, the painful things that we wish were not looming and yet there is such sweetness mixed into those more bitter things. The sweet blessings help make our sanctification carry on a little smoother. Like honey with medicine. A generous undeserved mercy to be thankful for.
We all arrived one by one. Bringing things from our own homes to contribute and chattered of what else needed preparing. We had plans for days of slow cooking pork shoulder, prepping fresh slaw, vinegar cucumbers, sweet tea and decadent cake.
The kids ran about doing cousin things. Teens tucked in corners seeming aloof as their ears remained fully engaged to hear what the adults may talk of.
We caught up with one another in chattery conversation that flowed while our hands stayed busy. The kitchen is a place we all know what needs doing so there is an easy flow for us.
The pork shoulder went on the afternoon before the party to cook low and slow. To take in a smoky flavor, soften and become a tender juicy masterpiece. Potato salad was assembled.
The chocolate cake was folded together and poured into a fluted Nordic bundt pan. Once baked it sat to cool, anticipating being dressed with caramel-coconut-pecan topping. Classic German chocolate cake is my mom’s favorite.
Sweet Iced Tea boiled on the stove. 8 teabags to 4 cups of water brought to a boil and allowed to steep 5 minutes for a nice concentrate. Stir in sweetener. Being of Texas stock, my mother uses ¼ Cup of sugar (monk fruit or stevia work great too). Then add 4 more cups of cold water. Chef’s kiss.
There is something about preparing food together that knits a family back as though no time has past between this dinner and the last we shared.
It would be easy to become a perfectionist in planning a party and spoil it in the process. Everyone doing a little and sharing the burden allows us all to let go a little and be present while still trusting the work will be done and the important part of reconnecting and engaging shines through.
Last task for the evening was a quick hair cut for my daughter. She was very over due and it just so happens my mom has a set up from her prior career. So she was all freshened up for the next day’s photos.
It was time for a good night’s rest.
We all rose early for some family photos. Everyone donned their dress ware. Bustled about surrounded by the scent of lotions, potions, cinnamon rolls and bacon.
We gathered at a lovely wooded area with a photographer and captured a few moments to remember.
Then we returned to the house to decorate and finished cooking tasks. Table scapes were set up, fresh slaw tossed together, crisp watermelon cut and vinegar cucumbers put together and put together again as the kids couldn’t keep their hands out of the dish with their hunger.
My mom’s cousins arrived and it felt like a reunion. They talked of family and times passed. Their Texas heritage and how their parents picked cotton. They were a hard working people. Great grandparents that immigrated to Texas with blood of the English, Celtic and Bohemian mix.
Food was eaten, cake was served. The classic birthday song sung. Then everyone just hung out. Chatted and goofed around and just chilled as the afternoon turned to a dusky evening. Volleyball battles and plank contests were had because why not? A little cribbage was played. Dogs roamed about. I shouldn’t forget them. English Springer Spaniel’s have been a part of my mom’s life since childhood and their sweet faces were a constant along the fence line while the party carried on.
Eventually everyone trickled off to their own spaces and sleepiness set in. The main event was over and I think we all felt full and satisfied for the most part.
